


love is waking up from your dream and reaching for reality because it’s better

by waejima (orphan_account)



Series: poly shenaningans x college au [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band), EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Confusing, Drug Use, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Gay, Help, M/M, Memes, Mentioned Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Mentioned SEVENTEEN Ensemble, Mentioned Super Junior Ensemble, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Save Me, big bang and shinee are forced to, byun baekhyun is an actual mess, chatfic, dont look too deep youll get sucked in, everyone loves kris, everyone lovs him tho, gets angsty, he appears for like 30 seconds, i wanna die, idk - Freeform, jiyong is confused 24/7, maybe less, mentioned x-japan, theres gonna be alot of angst, this is actually deep, this is gonna be a wild ride, too many ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-02-28 01:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/waejima
Summary: ✿ in which everyone's in college, exo has a chat & they add shinee and big bang. ✿✿ (it's safe to say things get a little out of hand) ✿





	1. literally all this chat is is a mess of gay tears roasting and jiyong being permanently confused but also ready to fight at any given chance

**Author's Note:**

> okAY so the fic i poste d on 25th
> 
> Cloud 9 is just the beginning
> 
> this is the backstory
> 
> or like
> 
> the start of it
> 
> save me
> 
> save us all
> 
> this is an actual mess
> 
> also theyre all in open relationships
> 
> i fixed the relationship tags also pls dont shout at me for the tags i already stated that theyre in open relationships 
> 
> but like thx i edited this at like what? 3-4 am so i was messed up but thx for putting up w/ me
> 
> no:jongin  
> duran duran: lu  
> kingy: sehun  
> succdae:jongdae  
> succ-hyung:minseok  
> daddy:junmyeon  
> soft bab: yifan  
> hoehyun:baekhyun  
> bottom boye: kyungsoo  
> naega michyeo: yixing  
> gucci gang: zitao  
> yoda: chanyeol  
> bonghyun:jonghyun  
> thirs t y ass hoe: taem  
> kinky:jinki  
> minho  
> bumkeyk:key  
> confufusela:jiyong  
> kill me please:youngbae  
> TabiDABi:seunghyun  
> daridaridaridari:seungri  
> momma dae: daesung

**whifkajsdhfgiouaghouigfoiuyaiog:** i wanna die

 

 **no:** with that name i’d also wnat to die

 

 **whifkajsdhfgiouaghouigfoiuyaiog:** wai t fuck autocorrect

 

 **_whifkajsdhfgiouaghouigfoiuyaiog_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_succdae_ **

**succdae:** jongin plx i just wanna dye me hair leave me alone

 

 **duran duran** : me hair. r u a pirate

 

 **no:** no hes just a moron

 

 **_duran duran_ ** _has changed the group name to RIP jongdae something-2017 burned to death_

 

 **duran duran:** in all honesty u deserve it  (◡‿◡✿)

 

 **succdae:** where’s succ hyung when you need him

 

 **succ-hyungie:** oh no honey im just looking at the drama going on

 

 **succ-hyungie:** also luhan youll be dead by tomorrow :)))

 

 **duran duran:** SEHUN WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED BACKUP

 

 **kingy:** hyng no

 

 **kingy:** im legit cuddlng junmyeon do u hv to

 

 **duran duran:** g a s p e t h

 

 **succ-hyungie:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **kingy:** y’all filthy

 

 **_hoehyun_ ** _has added_ **_thirs t y ass hoe, kinky and three others_ **

 

 **succdae:** oh no

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** hi

 

 **no:** T A E M I N

 

 **fucks mangoes for a living:** hi

 

 **fucks mangoes for a living:** kibum fuck you i swear to god i’m telling jonghyun to roundhouse kick you out of this apartment

 

 **_fucks mangoes for a living_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_minho_ **

 

 **daddy:** i thought yall didnt have friends

 

 **bumkeyk:** and i thought you were dead but whoops

 

 **bumkeyk:** looks like i’m as out of luck as ever : ) on another note taem are these your friends

 

 **soft bab:** why is everyone fighting :((

 

 **succ-hyungie:** baby we’re not

 

 **succdae:** gege we werent!!!

 

 **daddy:** we arent honey

 

 **no:** gege we arent

 

 **duran duran:** y’all gonna Suffer if he cries

 

 **succdae:** PSA: IDK HALF OF YALL BUT IF ANY OF YALL UPSET THE USER BY THE NAME OF SOFT BAB YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO GET STONED TO DEATH

 

 **daddy:** : D

 

 **no:** : )

 

 **bumkeyk:** lol ur users read “daddy, no” idk why but im laughing

 

 **eyebrow game on f l e ek:** what hapen

 

 **no:** I have been horrified

 

 **_eyebrow game on f l e ek_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_bottom boye_ **

 

 **bottom boye:** not a word nini

 

 **bottom boye:** not a word

 

 **duran duran:** did you actually do it, oh my God

 

 **duran duran:** will anyone mind if I add like,, five more people

 

 **bonghyun** : who tho do we even know them

 

 **duran duran:**  like... kind of? I’m pretty sure literally everyone has seen them at some point

 

 **_duran duran_ ** _has added_ **_kill me please, momma dae and three others_ **

 

 **kill me please:** oh dear god

 

 **confufusela:** so i need to learn the names of ppl now

 

 **confufusela:** f u c k    m e

 

 **soft bab:** h y u n g : )

 

 **kill me please:** how is he so adorabkle like what the Fuck he is so tall and fmdsdfjk and then you foind out he’s A SWEETHEART and ur literally like *incoherent sobbing*

 

 **momma dae:** hmmmmmmmm

 

 **confufusela:** hmmmmmmmm

 

 **TabiDABi:** Hmmmmmmmm

 

 **daridaridaridari:** hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **no:** l i t e r a l l y     w h a t     t h e      f u c k

 

 **daddy:** i have never seen a person use a lenny face in an actual conversation

 

 **succ-hyungie:** The gang is togehter, I will kill you if you add anyone else

 

 **succ-hyungie:** Together*

 

 **daridaridaridari:** ar e you a dom

 

 **daridaridaridari:** you wrtite like a dom

 

 **succdae:** and you don’t

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** oh wow

 

 **daridaridaridari:** b e t r a y a l

 

 **succdae:** i dont even know you

 

 **daddy:** kim jongdae

 

 **succ-hyungie:** oh no he pulled the full name card

 

 **bottom boye:**  how do i leave this chat

 

 **hoehyun:** i leave for 7 minutes

 

 **hoehyun:** s e v e n    m i n u t e s

 

 **soft bab:** : ( ?

 

 **no:** oh n o h y u n gie

 

 **kinky:** jesus h christ what is this

 

 **confufusela:** idk i should introduce myself

 

 **TabiDABi:** yourself

 

 **daridaridaridari:** yourself

 

 **kill me please:** yourself

 

 **momma dae:** yourself

 

 **confufusela:** yes myself i am not going to fucking introduce all of you you’re grown ass men

 

 **confufusela:** hi im kwon jiyong or gd or whatever the fuck everyone calls me

 

 **kill me please:** uh oh

 

 **bonghyun:** wait r u like actually kwon jiyong

 

 **bonghyun:** cuz if u r LOL i know like three people who used to have the BIGGEST crush on you kekekeke

 

 **soft bab:** but taozi and yeolie and xing tho? or do they not wanna join or idk

 

 **duran duran:** hold on babe i’ll add them

 

 **_duran duran_ ** _has added_ **_naega michyeo, yoda_ ** _and_ **_gucci gang_ **

 

 **gucci gang:** if this ain’t for fanfan i’m leaving

 

 **confufusela:** jonghyun was boutta tell me something tho

 

 **confufusela:** why y’all rude

 

 **bonghyun:** forgive me i can’t tell taem would have my head

 

 **bonghyun:** ok no he is way 2 soft for that but he’d prolly die of embarrassment

 

 **gucci gang:** i’ll fucking leave jesus fuckig christ i’m SO fucking DONE

 

 **duran duran:** what’s crawled up his ass

 

 **daddy:** i would bet on a remote controlled buttplug

 

 **kinky:** watch yr profanity

 

 **gucci gang:** no, Actually

 

 **gucci gang:** the lil something that crawled up my ass is called byUN BA EKH YU  N

 

 **soft bab:** tao z iii i i

 

 **gucci gang:** im sorry hon i gotta go

 

 **momma dae:** I feel personally. victimised even though i have 0 idea what’s happening

 

 **naega michyeo:** baek fucked him and didnt let him come he’s prolly just hissy rnow

 

 **TabiDABi:** I feel bad for the kid

 

 **naega michyeo:** well i’m punishing baek because hissy tao = actual fucking destruction™

 

 **yoda:** baekie why did you do it

 

 **hoehyun:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **daddy:** can someone talk to tao i think i just heard glass breaking

 

 **yoda:** sorry he’s kinda mad rn

 

 **yoda:** also i’m chanyeol

 

 **daridaridaridari:** is he a dom

 

 **kingy:** ‘bout a quarter missing from becoming yifan-ge

 

 **momma dae:** you write very,,, accurately

 

 **yoda:** i took Taozi to my studio, don’t bother us he’ll work on some of his songs for now

 

 **soft bab:** can i visit

 

 **yoda:** not today, sorry

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** whoa what drama

 

 **kingy:** also yixing how did u punish baek

 

 **naega michyeo:** …

 

 **naega michyeo:** blindfold

 

 **confufusela:** tf is your drama

 

 **yoda:** when 12 people are in an open relationship no good comes from it

 

 **yoda:** trust me

 

 **yoda:** sorry tao will fucking claw my head off if i dont go

 

 **kill me please:** tbh if five people are just a little bit of a mess then what do u expect from two and a half times more

 

 **yoda:** ok to be fair u all do also have to deal with kwon fucking jiyong in all his insane unpredictable yet somehow fucking adorable glory and we don’t have that so

 

 **TabiDABi:** a mess and too much money going to buying lube

 

 **bonghyun:** tbh i relate

 

 **succ-hyung:** we have myeon hyungs ban k acc o U N T

 

 **duran duran:** yeaaaa we do

 

 **duran duran:** also imma go and get something to eat no one follow me

 

 **succdae:** are you cheating on us

 

 **duran duran:** y’all Literally know my phone password why tf would i cheat jfc

 

 **bonghyun:** yall wild

 

 **naega michyeo:** nah were like six and six mixed

 

 **confufusela:** huh

 

 **confufusela:** how does that work

 

 **kingy:** we’re like

 

 **kingy:** in to open relationships right

 

 **kingy:** two*

 

 **kingy:** like me, myeon, jongin, baek, chanyeol, kyungsoo

 

 **kingy:** arw in one

 

 **kingy:** are*

 

 **kingy:** and

 

 **kingy:** yixing, yifan, miseok,luhan, jongdae n tao

 

 **kingy:** are in another

 

 **kingy:** and we met through like a lot of people

 

 **kingy:** and baek and xing slept together

 

 **kingy:** like fucked

 

 **kingy:** and

 

 **kingy:** myeon and lu proposed we start all dating

 

 **kingy:** and here we are

 

 **minho:** wild

 

 **confufusela:** woa

 

 **TabiDABi:** how do you even manage that

 

 **daddy:** spoiler alert we dont

 

 **succdae:** offended

 

 **succ-hyung:** we were literally in the middle of introductions how did we manage to get into the past of our relationship

 

 **TabiDABi:** Okay, I’m Seunghyun

 

 **kill me please:** im youngbae

 

 **momma dae:** I’m Daesung

 

 **daridaridaridari:** seungri

 

 **bottom boye:** kyungsoo

 

 **no:** jongin

 

 **baehyun:** baek

 

 **naega michyeo:** im yixing, Yoda is Chanyeol, Gucci gang is Zitao

 

 **daddy:** junmyeon

 

 **bonghyun:** m jonghyun but jjong is fine too!

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** taem(in)

 

 **kinky:** jinki

 

 **minho:** take a wild guess

 

 **bumkeyk:** key

 

 **daddy:** Is that everyone?

 

 **naega michyeo:** yes

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** this feel empty without jimin

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** feels*

 

 **no:** plz don’t add him and the six other idiots there are literally 22 of us

 

 **kingy:** everyone forgot me and luhan brb gonna go cry also i know 34 more people we could technically add. u wouldn’t believe

 

 **daddy:** have fun

 

 **daddy:** also please don’t add anyone else jesus this is cramped already

 

 **soft bab:** why is sehun crying

 

 **confufusela:** well that was quick

 

 **_naega michyeo_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_peaches and sheep_ **

 

 **peaches and sheep:** ………………………………………………………….

 

 **bottom boye:**  whta the fuck

 

 **peaches and sheep:** we don’t talk about lay 02 sheep

 

 **bonghyun:** theres an album named afetr you

 

 **peaches and sheep:** the two songs that are the worst are in my name jesus

 

 **peaches and sheep:** pls just let me chagne it

 

 **no:**.

 

 **_peaches and sheep_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_kinda hot kinda depressed_ **

 

 **TabiDABi:** Welcome to the club

 

 **momma dae:** jiyong i’m skinning you alive

 

 **confufusela:** welp looks like its time to fuCKING RUN

 

 **daridaridaridari:** youngbae save us

 

 **kill me please:** i just heard seuhgnyun shout already fuckgng flying

 

 **kinky:** anyway i wanna meet kingy and i wanna befriend him

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** how do you even know a word as long as ‘befriend’

 

 **confufusela:** i’d help you roast people. but we are currently. being chased by a small but mighty mom-child i’ll pay u in bitcoin if u come to rescue us

 

 **kingy:** did you just use a bitcoin meme irl

 

 **kingy:** also jinki i would like to meet you :)

 

 **no:** jinki dont do it

 

 **kingy:** buy me bubble tea and we’ll be friends forever

 

 **daddy:** Don’t do it, it’s a trap

 

 **bumkeyk:** do NOT every time he gets new friends he literally never shuts up oh my god

 

 **kinky:** it’s a date !

 

 **kingy:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **bumkeyk:** FYI HIS ASS IS FLATTER THAN MANGOS SENSE OF HUMOR

 

 **kinky:** ( ͡     ͡   )  

 

 **kinda hot kinda depressed:**  fyi sehun is kinda thick but like beginner bitch thick

 

 **kingy:** hyung, ge, my favourite person in the world, shut the fuck up

 

 **minho:** KIM KIBUM

 

 **minho:** my own boyfriend,,, my heart and soul,,,, turning againST ME

 

 **daddy:** my own boyfriend cheatin g on me while i and his 10 other boyfriends see

 

 **dadd** y: we have been betrayed

 

 **kinky:** i think they all call it the “ jinki effect “ or something equally as dumb but i literally don’t get it?????

 

 **minho:** the first time jonghyun saw him i think he literally choked and accidentally swallowed like ¾ of the tapioca balls from his tea

 

 **minho:** like that’s a lot of balls even for HIM

 

 **bonghyun:** offended

 

 **minho:** what you get for not yelling at key for betraying me

 

 **confufusela:** i get tht yall having a fun tim e roasting each other but please i’m literally about to find my untimely end i’M INNOCENT

 

 **momma dae:** i’ll find you you little bitch

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** i’m still like mediumkey confused as to who u r but gimme a sec were u like

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** the dude at that dorm party last year with like

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** really bright glowstick green hair who downed like,, 10 shots of tequila and then beat me at karaoke twice

 

 **confufusela:** you are correct :)

 

 **thirs t y ass hoe:** _I DEMAND A REMATCH_

 

 **confufusela:**  today. at 8. at the karaoke bar on campus. bring as much alcohol as you can

 

 **TabiDABi:** Weren’t we supposed to watch a movie today?

 

 **confufusela:** sorry hyung buT I HAVE TO BEAT HIM AND I WANNA GET DRUNK and i don’t wan t to be Skinned Alive! by dae and

 

 **confufusela:** i need like 10 bitcoins can someone help me

 

 **no:** why do you need $196.230? I dont even have $123.498, where woul id get $153.378 from

 

 **bonghyun:** why do i already have a feeling like most of you smoke a,,,, lot of weed

 

 **no:** i was hotboxing with miseok hyung

 

 **succ-hyung:** im going to get fucking stabbed to death by kyungsoo jfc jONGIN LEARN TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

 

 **bumkeyk:** it’s so unbelievably refreshing to see people getting yelled at and not getting yelled at urself For Once………. by somneone with a name starting with ji

 

 **kinky:** aight you lITTLE SHIT

 

 **bumkeyk:** my happiness was short-lived gtg

 

 **duran duran:** ah yes thank you for hanging yourself

 

 **bonghyun:** luhan what the fuck

 

 **duran duran:** it is time to hang myself on a doorknob with a towel (accidentally)

 

 **daddy:** i keep on forgetting that you stan your japanese bands

 

 **duran duran:** sorry but i’m just gonna go accidentally kill myself bye

 

 **kill me please:** i actually fucking let out a wheeze i m I S S H I D E

 

 **duran duran:** THANK FUCKING GOD SOMEONE KNOWS HIM

 

 **kill me please:** HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **duran duran:** whoops i downloaded 200 pictures of him again

 

 **kill me please:** he kinda looks like someone i know what the f u c k

 

 **kill me please:** i’ve literally accidentally called my friend hide

 

 **confufusela:**  you called me hide once

 

 **confufusela:**  am i just a friend

 

 **kill me please:** wait no i’ve called you hide aswell

 

 **confufusela:** im hurt

 

 **momma dae:** so… jiyong……………………………………………

 

 **confufusela:** i’m olDER THAN YOU JUST BECAUSE I BOTTOM DOESNT MEAN I DON’T WANT RESPECT ANYMOre

 

 **daridaridaridari:** rip daesung

 

 **confufusela:** I’M HAVING A REMATCH WITH TAEM AND YOU CAN’T FUCKING ST O P M E

 

 **_thirs t y ass hoe_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_taem to stop_ **

 

 **taem to stop:** fucking fi g h t m e hyung

 

 **daddy:** yall wild af

 

 **confufusela:** oh look fucking taem is more respectful than y’all

 

 **TabiDABi:** Are you okay, Jiyong


	2. everyone needs a high unicorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soft bab: pls don’t hurt lu-ges feelings
> 
> no: aight
> 
> daddy: aight
> 
> hoehyun: aight
> 
> succ-hyung: aighty
> 
> bottom boye: y’all bette r leave this chat rnow or shut the fuck up before i come and accidentally drop neurotoxins into your food
> 
> soft bab: :(
> 
> bottom boye: you can speak
> 
> bumkeyk: whipped
> 
> bumkeyk: but like same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im salty because apparently alot got messed up with this and i need to say goodbye to some well deserved sleep because i need to post this a g a i n at two am
> 
> also again, THEY'RE IN OPEN RELATIONSHIPS PLEASE BEAR WITH ME

**confufsela:** taem i’m already at the karaoke bar snort

 

 **taem to stop:** c o m i n g

 

 **soft bab:** why is everyone so angry ? like woah

 

 **daridaridaridari:** YOURE CONFUSED TOO OK GOOD I’M NOT ALONE

 

 **bumkeyk:** i’m betting all my money that taem is only being “””respeccful””” because hes scared shitless of seunghyun nkhknkds

 

 **no:** half of u are supposed to be in class wtf

 

 **bottom boye:** so are you???????????

 

 **kill me please:** i’m sick

 

 **confufusela:** kekekKEKEKEEKEKEK THAT COLLEGE LIFE

 

 **confufusela:** MY CLASSES ENDED AT 3 SUCK A MONSTER COCK

 

 **kingy:** well i know that baek n jongdae n minseok are all in class

 

 **kinky:** arent you the youngest

 

 **kingy:** shush

 

 **kingy:** also jiyong hyung im guessing your classes are over

 

 **confufusela:** 8D

 

 **bumkeyk:** the pettiness

 

 **confufusela:** D8

 

 **bumkeyk:** i was talking bout sehun but can also mean you ¯\\_ツ_/¯

 

 **confufusela:** hey fuck you i don’t have an emoji with cool glasses for doubtful confusion

 

 **kingy:** anYWHO i enjoyed our bubble tea trip jinki

 

 **kinky:** agreed it is very nice to get a break from constantly being with ur flatmates

 

 **kinky:** like domt get me wrong theyre fine but

 

 **TabiDABi:** please shut the fuck up im in class i do not need this amount of notifications

 

 **confufusela:** rude

 

 **confufusela:** im going to seokmins dorm because of this

 

 **momma dae:** babe,,,, have u ever heard of silent mode,,,,

 

 **momma dae:** who tf is seokmin

 

 **confufusela:** a friend

 

 **confufusela:** what major is he you ask?

 

 **confufusela:** i aint telling you cause i dont want to be embarrassed among his 12 boyfriends

 

 **kingy:** SEOKMIN

 

 **no:** SEOKMIN

 

 **confufusela:** so yall know him

 

 **kingy:** WE’RE COURSEMATES

 

 **kingy:** BUT LIKE WH O THE FUCK DOESN’T KNOW SEOKMIN HE IS ACTUALLY THE SUPREME QUEEN ON CAMPUS

 

 **daddy:** alright everyone i beg,, shut the up ur annoying

 

 **kingy:** shut the up

 

 **kingy:** i’m burning your red velvet album you little shit you dont get to meme us

 

 **daridaridaridari:** i’m just over here lauhging my ass off because i know for a fACT that one of that fucks boyfriends is mistER FLUORESCENT SNEAKERS HIMSELF

 

 **daridaridaridari:** GOD THAT GUY IS A LEGEND

 

 **confufusela:** im-

 

 **confufusela:** seungri actually knows people on campus?????????

 

 **daridaridaridari:** THAT’S THE ONLY THING I KNOW ABOUT THAT DUDE i mean the sneakers dude (i do have a social life tho u fuc)

 

 **daridaridaridari:** like his name???? no idea

 

 **daridaridaridari:** he just,,,, has these dumb sneakers and everyone thinks theyre fugly but if anyone dares say anything his fuckin boyfriends are prepared to Lose Their Shit™ even though theyre weak ass twinks

 

 **confufusela:** i think he could do more than all of his boyfriends combined tbh

 

 **daridaridaridari:** why are there so many people with the most questionable choices in fashion at OUR college what have we done to deserve this

 

 **confufusela:** idk bout you but jihoon is very fashion just the fUCKING SNEAKERS

 

 **daridaridaridari:** have you seen the guy who has like 20+ bucket hats

 

 **daridaridaridari:** like one is fuzzy and he’s got like patterns and colours and its so fucking weird but nobody comments ever

 

 **confufusela:** jaebum?

 

 **confufusela:** you name their clothing style and i probably know them i mean i m p o p u l a r

 

 **confufusela:** i just remembered about my child and now i wanna cry shE GRADUATED LAST YEAR FUCK I’M BOUTTA CRY

 

 **confufusela:** FUCK I MISS JI-EUN

 

 **confufusela:** mY CHilD

 

 **confufusela:** i also miss hansol

 

 **confufusela:** kim hansol

 

 **confufusela:** fuck that lil ace twink looking boy. fuck he was cute. hellllll

 

 **daridaridaridari:** i actually don’t even know of them wtf

 

 **confufusela:** kim hansol was the dude who covered Ji-euns song jam jam and danced to it

 

 **daridaridaridari:** was kim hansol the dude who also dance covered slut like you

 

 **taem to stop:** JOFHLAHFLAHDLFJHDAIGKHJAJGLJG

 

 **taem to stop:** JI

 

 **taem to stop:** EUN

 

 **taem to stop:** AND

 

 **taem to stop:** KIM

 

 **taem to stop:** HANSOL

 

 **confufusela:** THIS IS WHY I LIKE YOU

  


-|-

 

 **daridaridaridari:** GUYS

 

 **taem to stop:** what

 

 **daridaridaridari:** I FOUND LUHANS AO3 ACCOUNT

 

 **no:** W HA  T  


**taem to stop:** WHSt

 

 **duran duran:** KGFKLJAJSFIGFIAKSGHFFU/TGSA

 

 **duran duran:** N O

 

 **duran duran:** DONT TELL T H E M

 

 **daridaridaridari:** ‘’butterscotch’’

 

 **duran duran:** D O N T

 

 **no:** oh my god i never thought somone would reveal the teashop owner

 

 **duran duran:** just because i work at a teashop doesnt mean i spill it the most

 

 **no:** bUT SEUNGRI CONTINUE

 

**daridaridaridari:**

"There's nothing worse than an immortal fuckboy with commitment issues.”

 

 **daridaridaridari:** my god what is the end of it

 

 **duran duran:** _N O_

 

 **duran duran:** D O N T

 

 **daridaridaridari:** is that

 

 **daridaridaridari:** a vampire au

 

 **duran duran:**  D   O       N   O  T

 

 **daridaridaridari:** its good but uuh

 

 **daridaridaridari:** when did you learn such big words

 

 **duran duran:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **daridaridaridari:** tf

 

 **no:** this is perfect oh my god

 

 **confufusela:** IM-

 

 **taem to stop:** OH MY GOD I CAN’T I AM ACTUALLY FUCKCING DYING SEND HLEP  


**hoehyun:** oh my god

 

 **succ-hyung:** thou hast been shown to the world

 

 **duran duran:** the disrespect

 

 **succ-hyung:**??

 

 **duran duran:** thOU WAS DISRESPECTFUL

 

 **duran duran:** “I vite my thumb at thou.”

 

 **duran duran:** bite*

 

 **succ-hyung:** how is that disrespectful

 

 **duran duran:** i bite my thumb at thou meant imma give you the middle finger you asshole

 

 **duran duran:** just

 

 **duran duran:** f O RGEt  this

 

 **daddy:** never

 

 **soft bab:** pls don’t hurt lu-ges feelings

 

 **no:** aight

 

 **daddy:** aight

 

 **hoehyun:** aight

 

 **succ-hyung:** aighty

 

 **bottom boye:** y’all bette r leave this chat rnow or shut the fuck up before i come and accidentally drop neurotoxins into your food

 

 **soft bab:** :(

 

 **bottom boye:** you can speak

 

 **bumkeyk:** whipped

 

 **bumkeyk:** but like same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks
> 
> ALSO PLS CHECK OUT NICEASSPAVUS THEY WERE THE ONE WHO ORIGINALLY POSTED BUTTERSCOTCH T H A N K Y O U


	3. teamin and high kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no: KYUNGSOO WHY DO YOU HAVE SOAP IN YOUR DRAWERS
> 
>  
> 
> bottom boye: it smells nice sue me
> 
>  
> 
> or also can be counted as a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING THIS BEFORE BUT I WAS AT A SLEEPOVER 
> 
> also
> 
> i decided i wont make this a part two to 'who doesnt need a high unicorn' because theyre bot good on their own
> 
> no:jongin  
> duran duran: lu  
> kingy: sehun  
> succdae:jongdae  
> succ-hyung:minseok  
> daddy:junmyeon  
> soft bab: yifan  
> hoehyun:baekhyun  
> bottom boye: kyungsoo  
> naega michyeo: yixing  
> gucci gang/hi i cry every 10 minutes/feelin' gucci: zitao  
> yoda: chanyeol  
> bonghyun:jonghyun  
> thirs t y ass hoe: taem  
> kinky:jinki  
> minho  
> bumkeyk:key  
> confufusela:jiyong  
> kill me please:youngbae  
> TabiDABi:seunghyun  
> daridaridaridari:seungri  
> momma dae: daesung

 

**daddy:** who’s blasting peach

 

**yoda:** me, appreciating king sheep

 

-|-

 

_~~**no:** WHY IS NO ONE BAILING ME OU T ~~ _

 

_~~**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** because you’re a little bitch ʢ◉ᴥ◉ʡ ~~ _

 

_~~**taem to stop:** ~~ _ _~~why do i feel like tao just has all the tea on~~ ~~everyon~~ ~~e~~ _

 

**three (3) messages deleted**

 

****-|-

 

**_succ-hyung_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_ultra succ_ **

 

**succdae:** i see how t is

 

**ultra succ:** :c

 

**_ultra succ_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_single_ **

 

**single:** :C

 

**gucci gang:** oh

 

**succdae:** bby im sorry

 

**single:** :I

 

**succdae:** I SAID IM SORRY

 

**single:** C:

 

**succdae:** :)

 

**_single_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_succ-hyung_ **

 

**succ-hyung:** tao are you okay now

 

**gucci gang:** kinda

 

**_gucci gang_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_hi i cry every 10 minutes_ **

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** hi

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** i have a feeling i left a bad impression on u ?

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** i’m tao and i’m actually kinda nice

 

~~**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** _and i hung myself when yixing wasn’t around_~~

**_message deleted_ **

 

**bumkeyk:** tf was that deleted message

 

**bumkeyk:** i got like the first two words

 

**naega michyeo:** tao you good?

 

**taem to stop:** yooo 

 

**taem to stop:** i’m taemin if u didn’t know

 

**taem to stop:** and yea yixing kinda told us bout the situation ur good

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** aaah people talk aobut me?

 

**bumkeyk:** yeah we do 

 

**bumkeyk:** but like you okay?

 

**bonghyun:** do you wanna talk?

 

**bonghyun:** privately?

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** i’m okay

 

**daddy:** tAO IM SO HAPPY TO SEE MY LIL TAOZI BACK AOJFHJLHFLAKSHFLK

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** jUNMYEON

 

**succdae:** TAOZI

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** jONGDAe

 

**momma-dae:** this is so sweet oh my god

 

**confufusela:** aaaaaaaaaaaaah thisi s so sewwt

 

**TabiDABi:** update jiyongs bawling

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** aaah that’s So Sweet

 

**kingy:** update tao is only this sweet after he has cried

 

**hi i cry every 10 seconds:** shush

 

**kingy:** fuck off

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** daddyyyy

 

**daddy:** sehun!

 

**kingy:** whAT DID I DO

 

**TabiDABi:** wow

 

-|-

 

**no:** what would you do if i got arrested

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** tf you got arrested again??

 

**daddy:** what do you mean a GAIN

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** whoop sorry jonginie ʢ◉ᴥ◉ʡ

 

**no:** ……….

 

**no:** yes i got arrested again……

 

**kingy:** oFR WHTA NINI OH MY GOD

 

**no:** i kinda uuuh

 

**no:** got caught smoking weed??

 

**no:** like not directly but some first year ratted me out

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** again

 

**kingy:** tao ratting jongin out like its his sunday tea

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** nah more like my daily tea

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** casual and black

 

**no:** i-

 

**no:** i feel offended;;;

 

**bumkeyk:** am i trippin or something

 

**bumkeyk:** did you just say

 

**bumkeyk:** casuaL AND B LACK

 

**bumkeyk:** HWO DRINKS BLAKC TEA

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** hi i drink all the teas but pls just give me 100 packs of cranberry and vanilla

 

**_kinda hot kinda depressed_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_naega michyeo_ **

 

**naega michyeo:** he actually has 10 packs of vanilla-cranberry tea

 

**bumkeyk:** whtA the fuck

 

**soft bab:** i want tea ;;

 

**naega michyeo:** taos busy but he said you can come over :D

 

**soft bab:** :D

 

-|-

 

**duran duran:** IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME BITCHES

 

**naega michyeo:** is it chris-tmas or christ-mas

 

**duran duran:** iT’S CHRISTMAS TIME

 

**bottom boye:** i’m not getting anyone anything

 

**confufusela:** its christ-mas were you born yesterday

 

**bumkeyk:** where are all of my boyfriends i feel outnumbered 

 

**bonghyun:** sorry i think i burned something on the pan

 

**confufusela:** jesesu chirgy

 

**bumkeyk:** i stg if you tried to cook again i’m coming over to make sure ur apartment is still intact 

 

**momma dae:** jiyong dear what the fuck are you trying to say 

 

**bonghyun:** sorry qȌᗝȌp

 

**bumkeyk:** it’s fine lmao don’t burn ur dorm 2 the ground 

 

**confufusela:**  I WANTED TO SAY JESUS CHRIST IM-

 

**bonghyun:** but then i coul d live with u

 

**bumkeyk:** at this point ur at my place like 4 nights a week anyway if we spent any more time together i think u and i might go insane 

 

**bonghyun:** so no moving in invitation okay

 

**bumkeyk:** ur welc anytime im honestly just not arsed to deal with math to split the rent or like, moving furniture

 

**bonghyun:** ill sell my furniture 

 

**bonghyun:** and then i could maybe buy all four of you a ring :D

 

**bonghyun:** buT LIKE NOT IN A PROPOSAL KINDA WAY 

 

**bonghyun:** im too oyung

 

**kinky:** YOU ARESUCHASWEETHEART minho where are you you need to see this 

 

**taem to stop:** offended

 

**minho:** im cryin in the club rnow

 

**minho:** MY COWORKER JUST

 

**minho:** ‘’minho are you okay?’’

 

**minho:** peeked over my shoulder

 

**minho:**  and staretd kćrying whtf

 

**bonghyun:** wHAT HAVEI DONE WHY I S EVERYONE CRYNIG

**kinky:** nO NONONONONONONO ITS OKAY BBY YRUIOE SO SEWTW THTS ALL

**confufusela:** i dint understan d shit but okay

**  
**daridaridaridari:** literally all this chat is is a mess of gay tears roasting and jiyong being permanently confused but also ready to fight at any given chance **

 

**confufusela:** meet me in the pit at 10 pm

 

**kinky:** why at 10 pm

 

**confufusela:** thats everyones bedtime ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**daridaridaridari:** i don get it but okay

 

**momma dae:** sEUGNRIO DOTN DO TI

 

**daridaridaridari:** YWH

 

**daridaridaridari:** WHY*****

 

-|-

 

**TabiDABi:** why did i just hear daesung say i love dick in japanese

**momma**   **dae:** shush

 

-|-

 

**yoda:** i just bumped into the dude who has 17 boyfriends

 

**no:** jISUNG RENJUN CHENLE JENO N A LOT OF THEM ARE UNDERAGE AND LIKE THEIR CHIDLRN YOU FUKC 

 

**confufusela:** HAECHN IS BARELY INNOCENT

 

**no:** NANI THE FUCK

 

**yoda:** johnny is kinda nice

 

**bottom boye:** tbh i have a feleling that johnny is just thier plationc sugar daddy

 

**daddy:** taeyong told me they arent datin g shtu the fukc up

 

**daddy:** whot he fuck is giving you a blowjob kyung

 

**bottom boye:** baek

 

**kinky:** y’all can tell when one of you is getting blown? while all we know is that taemin dances and looks like a sex god????

 

**taem to stop:** who tf is stopping you from taking me out on a date

 

**minho:** whoops im cryng agan

 

**bumkeyk:** it’s a plan 

 

**taem to stop:** it’s a d a t e

 

-|-

 

**kinky:** wheeeere is jjong is the real question here

 

**kinky:** he was in a good mood n then he like disappeared i’m confused

 

**confufusela:** welcome to my world i literally understand NOTHING most of the time

 

**kill me please:** jiyongie it’s because you’re almost always kind of really high most of the time

 

**TabiDABi:** jiyong you have lsd in your room i  n plain sight tbh im not even surprised anymore

 

**confufusela:**  i- 

 

**confufusela:** i feel offended

 

**confufusela:** yall cyberbullying me like its somethiNG TO BE ORPUD OF

 

**kill me please:** im quite orpud of you as well

 

**bonghyun:** im orpud to say that is just got my paycheck :D

 

**taem to stop:** bAAAABEEEEEE THAT’S COOL

 

**momma dae:** oh wow not even your boyfriend but im proud

 

**momma dae:** or should i say orpud

 

**confufusela:** byE BYE I’M RIDING AWAY INTO THE SUNSET  WITH MY CHILDREN JISUNG, MARK, JENO, HAECHAN, CHENLE AND RENJUN AND YOU CAN D O N O T H I NG

 

**succ-hyung:** well damn

 

**hoehyun:** well shit 

 

**naega michyeo:** sorry this is a christian server

 

-|-

 

**momma dae:** i feel the need to publically announce that jiyong does really stupid shit basically every time he gets near any sort of drug which is most weeknights

 

**confufusela:** wELL TELL YOU WHAT THIS SHIT BEING SNAPCHATTED

 

**confufusela:** and im pretty sure jaemin has half this shit on his insta story sO

 

**momma dae:** however, all this stupid shit is so much fun to witness while it’s going on so follow his snapchat @kjyong 

 

**daddy:** JAEMIN IS UNDERAGE HAT THE FUVKC JYOIGN

 

**daridaridaridari:** don’t worry honestly he is,,, practically a ninja when it comes to dodging the law at this point 

 

**momma dae:** why are you high jiyong its wednesday

 

**daddy:** STIlL

 

**taem to stop:** I’M IN CLASS AND I SHIT YOU NOT I SAW SOMEONE ON THE ROOF OF A CAR JUST BLASTING AWAY AND IDK WHY BUT I FEEL THE NEED TO BROADCAST THIS BECAUSE THEY HAD THE MOST IMPRACTICAL HEELS ON i need to be their friend

 

**confufusela:** pROBably jeongahn we got him high on weed and thwn gave him time to dress and tbh i passed out while thye were lwaving those little shits but u can com

 

**taem to stop:** _ wait is this actually happening  _ I’M GOING TO SKIP THE REST OF MY CLASSES TAKE ME WITH YOU

 

**confufusela:** dorm B room 23 floor 4 because tbh no one cares were high this is jeonghans room 

 

**confufusela:** the doors open and jeonghans here

 

**daddy:** i wanna stop them but at the same time nah

 

-|-

 

**taem to stop:** i’m here there is A Lot of clothes that look like they all came from a sorority i’m down 

 

**taem to stop:** oh my god my boyfriends are going to murder me im basically going on an adventure with a bunch of drugged kids and the bitch who drugged them what has my life come to 

 

**bumkeyk:** TAEMIN

 

**bonghyun:** TEAMIN WHTFUCK

 

**kinky:** tAEMN 

 

**kinky:** taemin*

 

**minho:** LEE TAEMIN YOU GET BACK HERE OH MY GDOD

 

**hoehyun:** guys this is in the news im

 

**hoehyun:** **screenshot.jpg**

 

-|-

 

**taem to stop:** have you ever worn lip gloss because honestly if not you’re MISSING™  the fUCk OUT 

 

**hi i cry every 10 minutes:** i wore it like daily but junmyeon said that spending 200,000 won on make up is not okay ;;;;

 

**confufusela:** BITCH

 

**taem to stop:** DOES HE ACTUALLY WANT

 

**confufusela:** TO THROW SOME ROUNDS

 

**_hi i cry every 10 minutes_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_feelin’ gucci_ **

 

**confufusela:** you should come with us where r u 

 

**feelin’ gucci:** i spent it like weekly

 

**feelin’ gucci:** aight gimme 10 minutes 

 

**feelin’ gucci:** i was at the campus bubble tea place  ヽ(♥ω♥)ﾉ

 

-|-

 

**taem to stop:** i think i see you WOah you’re pretty ?? teach me your ways

 

**feelin’ gucci:** i can do your make up and then were giving you high heels and baAm maybe if we go past my room we can get you some nice ass clothes as well were kinda the same size

 

**naega michyeo:** well im coming as well because who doesnt want a high unicorn 

 

**feelin’ gucci:** YIXING Y E S I WANNA PUT MAKE UP ON YOU AS WELL

 

**confufusela:** HO N E Y YE S

 

**feelin’ gucci:** I WANT JIYONG TO HAVE SOME CRAZY ASS EYELINER THATS SMUDGED A L O t

 

-|-

 

**_minho_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_homophobic turtle_ **

 

**homophobic turtle:** KIM KIBUM WHAT THE F U C K.

 

**bumkeyk:** IT HAS BEEN D O N E s

 

**taem to stop:**  what kinda gay shit is this

 

**homophobic turtle:** protip don’t let your boyfriend near your shit ESPECIALLY IF SAID BOYFRIEND HACKS INTO LINE ACCOUNTS FOR FUN

 

**_hoehyun_** _has changed their name to_ **_(ง ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿_**

 

**(ง ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿** : Pew pew you lil shits!

 

**homophobic turtle:** Whata re you fucking retardededed?

 

**(ง ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿** : E X T R A 

 

**no:** KYUNGSOO WHY DO YOU HAVE SOAP IN YOUR DRAWERS

 

**bottom boye:** it smells nice sue me

 

**( _ง ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿_** _has changed their name to **hoehyun**_

 

~~_**hoehyun** **:** jongdae fuck you_ ~~

**message deleted**

 

 

-|-

 

**confufusela:**  you’re my hart, you’re my söul

 

**no:** ShuT tHe HelEL YOuR MOTuH you long palmtree neckass

 

**confufusela:** eat horse shit u fucking kung pao ching ling bong small dong chicken ass bitch

 

**no:** BItcgH

 

**succ-hyung:** clam your tits 

 

**succdae:** cLAM YPOUR TIODS

 

**no:** BIVHSBGJHFKBKHOIASXNCESK

 

**no:** I have a disease called the dabeth disease 

 

**succdae:** go suck a dick suck a dick * dabs* suck a motherfucking dick suck a dick *dabs* suck a huge or smaaallll dick *dabs*

 

**bottom boye:** now listen here you little yellow chink  

 

**momma dae:** Boku wa succdae daisuki. Itsumo mainitchi yaritai.

 

**TabiDABi:** this chat is a mess

 

**succdae:** i actually undesrrtand that im c r y i n g

 

**momma dae:** *rawr* xD 

 

**_duran duran_ ** _ has changed the chat name to  _ **_bich u guessed it_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im very sorry about the mess that i created, i know that i shouldnt have tagged every relationship in the beginning, i know that im a mess, i know that i just cant keep my promises, but just, please give this a chance. Im mentally exhausted during most days and i write/edit/post in the middle of the night so i have no idea what i do. I know that the relationship tags were annoying and i thank everyone who brought that out. i also want everyone to keep in mind that all of the characters here are in open relationships, they date who they want, but they are still together. thank you for putting up with me, again and have a good morning/day/evening/night whatever the time is for you. 
> 
> also, if you have a n y questions about this au please ask, even about the characters because this i s messy and you guys deserve to understand some of it.


	4. is nutella really a good place to be a little girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TabiDABi: Nutella is a great place to be a little girl
> 
>  
> 
> daddy daer: no nutella is noT a great place to be a little grol.
> 
>  
> 
> i can be ur glow stick man: nutella is shit
> 
>  
> 
> ri-bbit: NUTELLA IS THE SHIT OLD MAN SHUT THE UP FucC IT TOOK YOU 4 MONTHS TO WASH THE GLOW STICK COLOUR OUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daddy daer: daesung  
> i can be ur glow stick man: jiyong  
> ri-bbit: seungri

**bumkeyk:** why does taemin have 20 hickeys all over his body

 

 **naega michyeo:** zitao

 

 **taem to stop:** zitao

 

 **confufusela:** zitao

 

 **feelin’ gucci:** all of us

 

 **daddy:** well then

 

 **minho:** my o w n b o y f r i e n d

 

 **taem to stop:** hyung were i n an open rlationsship

 

 **taem to stop:** dont think i dont know that you blow heechul every day in the bar bathrooms

 

 **confufusela:** u tell her girl

 

 **momma dae:** im so confused ? ? ?

 

 **naega michyeo:** how mad would you all be when we told you that we+jeonghan fucked while high and then cuddled as zitao and jeonghan got high again and sang

 

 **hoehyun:** im actually impressed

 

 **confufusela:** i’m hanging out with jeonghan and

 

 **confufusela:** two of his boyfriends walked in while taem snowballed zitao i fucking Died™

 

 **hoehyun:** snowballed?

 

 **daddy:** equally confused

 

 **taem to stop:** yknow,,,, licked my own cum off his stomach and kissed him and forced it down his throat

 

 **bumkeyk:** i thought you weren’t kinky what the fuck

 

 **bonghyun:** i wanna try that out

 

 **kinky:** jesus h christ!

 

 **feelin’ gucci:** what happened tho

 

 **confufusela:** jeonghan juat shrugged snd his boyfriend s don really care bout who he sleleps with cause hes kinfa likenot a part of the relationshi?

 

 **TabiDABi:** i know that you can’t type under any circumstances but what the fuck

 

 **momma dae:** jiyongie i suggest you maybe stop texting people while ur in bed with people

 

 **confufusela:** jok es on u iam gettign fucked aganst a wlall

 

 **bumkeyk:** UAU

 

 **bumkeyk:** *HAH

 

 **bumkeyk:** NOT UAU

 

 **daridaridaridari:** u a u

 

 **_daridaridaridari has changed the chat name to_ ** _UAU_

 

 **bumkeyk:** i came here to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

 

 **bumkeyk:** what’s the use of having four (4) boyfriends if none (0) of them ever back you up

 

 **homophobic turtle:** maybe because you’re hellbent on USING YOUR STUPID “”HACKER”” SKILLS TO FUCK WITH MY USERNAME

 

 **_homophobic turtle has changed their name to_ ** _sad mango_

 

 **sad mango:** i’ve accepted my destiny

 

 **sad**   **mango:** ok ok all jokes aside i love u and jjong and taemini and jinki im just not good with conflict

 

 **bumkeyk:** is fine most of the time when i get made fun of im highkey asking for it

 

 **bumkeyk:** i love u all too

 

 **sad mango:** <3

 

 **bumkeyk:** <3

 

 **TabiDABi:** that’s sweet

  


-|-

  


**hoehyun:** seok is it okay to down half a bars worth of alohcol adn go and srrip

 

 **hoehyun:** oh tish sint a sibgle persjn

 

 **minho:** jesus h christ no wonder ur relationships r failing

 

 **no:** already collected him

 

 **TabiDABi:** jitong just told me about a dream that all of us were pigeons

 

 **confufusela:** YOUNGNBAE YOU FUCKING ABANODNED US ???????????

 

 **TabiDABi:** jiyong* sorry im cackling

 

 **_i wanna die_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_abanodned_ **

 

 **abanodned:** for a good cause b y e f e l i c i a

 

 **confufusela:** the only one out of us who would survive as a pigeon is probably dae

 

 **duran duran:** na n i ther f uck its 3am you fuckd i have class at like 7ish

 

 **succdae:** i have  a feeling that lu is just

 

 **succdae:** the human equivalent of fish

 

 **duran duran:** t a k e   t h a t   b a c k   y o u   h o e

 

 **no:** how he a fish tho

 

 **succdae:** he thirsty even in water

 

 **bumkeyk:** DEAD

 

 **hoehyun:** i thikn a prfoessor threw money ta mee?

 

 **confufusela:** WHO IN THE FUCK

 

 **hoehyun:** the cool a s fukc techar who doetb have modnay classe cuas he s hungover

 

 **taem to stop:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD U GUYS HAVE LEETEUK THIS YEAR????

 

 **taem to stop:** he is a bLESSING i had a mental breakdown in his class once and he legitimately wrote me a slip so i could go to kibum’s and cry it was so great omg i love him

 

 **hoehyun:** na i dhave hihavem but kyugndos has

 

 **hoehyun:** nini ur wigns look like hciken wigsn

 

 **no:** how much did he drink someone tell me he’s,,,,on my couch & in an inadequate state to say the least did he actually go drinking. alone. ?? ? ?

 

 **_hoehyun_ ** _has added_ ** _ur hop ur dance q u e e n_ **

 

 **ur hop ur dance q u e e n:** if this bout how much he drank then about a breakup nd a half

 

 **hoehyun:** ist was like only 15 shtos

 

 **hoehyun:** oh hey russian haubts me after the vokda

 

 **no:** oh god

 

 **_ur hop ur dance q u e e n_ ** _has left the chat_

 

 **hoehyun:** D,:

 

 **no:** i watched him fuck that up 18 times

 

 **_bumkeyk_ ** _has changed the chat name to_ **_everyone has substance abuse problems / UAU_ **

 

 **duran duran** : juts fil the bath with cold water and dunk hos head in like twice hell sober up quickre

 

 **no:** i’m not that evil i’ll just,,, make him drink his weight in water and put him to bed he’s a sleepy drunk

 

 **duran duran** : im serious hell be drunk in the mprnogn if u dotn do it i was his roommate in hoghschool u fick

 

 **no:** r u sober

 

 **duran duran:** i dpnt have my cglaases nor contasct

 

 **no:** just come over i think i’m going to snap in half if he pukes

 

 **duran duran:** k gimme 15 mitnues

 

 **duran duran:** also ur wibgs do look like hciken wigsn

 

 **no:** i’m telling yixing to lock you out of your dorm

 

 **naega michyeo:** im not in my drom tho

 

 **no:** _S I G H_

 

 **daddy:** everyone..

 

 **daddy:** go

 

 **daddy:** the fuck

 

 **daddy:** to s l e  e p

 

 **daddy:** before all of you get punished

 

 **momma dae:** i second that i actually got jiyongie to sleep for once and seunghyuns phone is blowing up meaning if u wake him up now i’m literally going to eviscerate you and your family

 

 **hoehyun:** i jtsu wnated to have s fun eveging but nini rudine it

 

 **no:** brb i’m taking away his phone lu u on ur way?

 

 **duran duran:** the doors locked u fucking chickwn wong

 

 **no:** SORRY I’M A LITTLE BIT OF A MESS RIGHT NOw

 

 **duran duran:** wing*

 

 **soft bab:** is everyone okay???

 

 **daddy:** baby please sleep you had an essay to finish

 

 **no:** fanfan please just,,,, i’m sorry i’m so fucking stressed i cant

 

 **daddy:** nini call me

 

(here we insert actual fic thats not chat bc thats how we roll)

 

“Nini, Nini, listen to me. You're okay, it's fine. I'm here, yeah?”

  

“God fucking damn it, Myeon, I can’t I- fucking- he’s so fucking drunk, and it’s not even a once in a time thing anymore, it’s fucking nearly _every week_ and I just-”

 

“Baby, we'll talk to him, yeah? I know it's hard and I know we're all done, but he's lost. We need to talk to him, yeah? We'll talk, baby. We'll talk.”

 

“I- I’m sorry. It’s r-really l-late, you should be a-asleep, I shouldn’t be fucking- f-freaking out, it’s fine. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Junmyeon, I d-don’t know why I’m like this-”

 

“Jongin, Jongin, no. You have every right to be a mess. You have every right. He's fucked up right now. We need to help him and we need to help you. No one is left behind and no one gets less attention than others. We promised that to each other. I can pull all of you out of school for a week and we can go to the most random place and rest and talk it out. You know I'll do it, only one of you just needs to ask.”

 

“I- yeah. Yeah, Myeon, fuck- thank you. Y-you’re.. I’m not in the b-best shape to ask you right now, I know that, I’m n-not dumb, but a-are you okay?”

 

“Jongin, is anyone really okay? Are we actually okay right now? I don't- I just- sorry…”

 

“No, Myeonie, fuck, god, I.. I don’t even f-fucking know. I don’t want us to fucking- fall a-apart, it sounds s-selfish as _fuck_ , but I really don’t, you know? I didn’t think that this.. whatever the fuck this is would actually _work out_ , of course I didn’t, but I never thought what actually _could_ happen, you know? I- I just- We’re such a fucking mess, Myeonie. It’s so _horrible_ , but it’s everything I have.”

 

“I love you all, y’know. I didn't think that… Wh-When we started, we were just a bunch of brats, you know, everyone was so happy because there were so many people that actually liked them… I- I was always so anxious when our two groups met and I swear- I fell in love with all of them, never stopped loving all of you though. We are a mess and we started the mess together, but we won't give up. We won't, we- _never_ … “

 

“G-god, yeah, it’s.. I love you too. All of you, it’s a fucking blessing and a c-curse, but I- I just. If we fuck this up, bad, don’t leave me, please? You- I don’t fucking know, alright, I’m just. Prone to co-codependency, so, sorry for that, b-but I guess you’re.. Stuck with me for good, you fucking lovable l-little shit. Thank you. A lot.”

 

“No, I seriously need to thank _you._ You have always just, been the shoulder to cry on and you've been the support pillar of this- this fucking mess… We-We love you, a lot. Me and Yifan sometimes just, look at the night sky and talk about what we like about all of you. I want to take you guys to a far away place, away from the responsibilities we carry on our shoulders, and I'll do- I don't fucking _know_ anymore. I'm- don't mind me. Please..”

 

“You- you fucking poet, Myeonie, forever the eternal d-dreamer. It’s sweet. Yifan is- a sweetheart, I really hope he doesn’t get too sad about any of this, I hate it when he- he’s sad, it’s like the world loses all of it’s light, god.. Hah. Rambling does k-kind of help, doesn’t it? ..I hope Lu got Baek to sleep, I’m practically asleep on the st-stairs myself, I feel like a fucking parent, Myeon.”

 

“I hate it when any of you get sad, y’know… Se-Sehun just manages to bring everyone down and so does everyone else and… I don’t know.. Just, get to bed safely, yeah? We'll talk as a group soon, I promise..”

 

“Y-yeah, yeah. We- we’ll talk, and we’ll figure this out, and everything’s going to be.. like it was. I really hope. Y-you.. Go to bed too, or I swear I’ll fly there and tuck you in myself, and just. I’m rambling. Sorry. I- Let’s both.. both try to not cry. I really love you a lot, you and Baek and Sehunie and Yifan and e-everyone, really. Go to bed, Myeonie.”

 

“I'm supposed to be the one who tucks you guys in, and don't you dare fly, I'll make sure you won't fly anywhere or even dare I say, _walk_ , anywhere, you big build-a-bear fanatic.”

 

“I- alright, fine, I’ll just go check on Lu and Baek and.. y-yeah, I should sleep. You too, I really hope you sleep well. We probably need it.”

 

“Uh uh… G’night, tell Baek and Lu that I love them..”

 

“I will. Sweet dreams, I love you.”

 

“Love you, night, see you soon, kisses, hugs whatever. “

 

“Kisses, hugs, whatever to you t-too, dork, now hang up.”

 

“I have decided not to.”

 

“You’re the _w-worst_ , I swear, if _I_ hang up I feel like a bad p-person and you know it, dweeb.”

 

“Who are you calling a dweeb, dweeb?”

 

“You’re a nerd, I love you, you’re making me do this so in honor of.. fucking, I don’t know, every single p-plushie Yifan owns, I’m hanging up now, beep beep, totally legit.”

 

(and now we get back to idiots and memes)

 

 **TabiDABi:** Nutella is a great place to be a little girl

 

 **daddy daer:** no nutella is noT a great place to be a little grol.

 

 **i can be ur glow stick man:** nutella is shit

 

 **ri-bbit:** NUTELLA IS THE SHIT OLD MAN SHUT THE UP FucC IT TOOK YOU 4 MONTHS TO WASH THE GLOW STICK COLOUR OUT

 

 **i can be ur glow stick man:** i wAS COOLER THAN YOU’RE LITERALLY EVER GOING TO BE OK I’M WILLING TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF AWESOME LEVEL 5

 

 **_no_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_build-a-bear fanatic // group thot_ **

 

 **_daddy_ ** _has changed_ **_build-a-bear fanatic // group thot’s_ ** _name to_ **_nini bear_ **

 

 **nini bear:** YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **daddy:** im not letting my kids thot around

 

 **i can be ur glow stick man:** wAIT WHT THE FUCGK WHY CAN YOOU CHANGE EVEYRYONES NAMES THE F

 

 **TabiDABi:** jiyongie. hes the admin. baby pls

 

 **i can be ur glow stick man:** mor like b a e  b a e

 

 **bumkeyk:** THAT FUCKING SONG. CAMPUS ANTHEM WHO THE FUCK WROTE IT AND W H Y it is t he worst last time i had it stuck in my brain for 5 days

 

 **ri-bbit:** iT WAS WRITTEN BBY DADDY G AND T O P or as you know them TabiDABi and i can be ur glow stick man

 

 **bumkeyk:** DADDY G I’M FUCKING P E E I N G OH MY GOD

 

 **bumkeyk:** g-dragon just wasn’t bad enough init

 

 **i can be ur glow stick man:** hey u fuck takr thst bacl ur a dweeb go ssuck a horse cock

 

 **taem to stop:** who the f calling my own boyfriend a dweeb do you waant to throw some rounds i dont care if we fucked

 

 **nini bear:** wait it isnt affectionate??????????? (?sarcasm?)

 

 **taem to stop:** depends on how much of an idiot u are. for example, we have jiyong, an actual moron

 

 **TabiDABi:** Okay as much as I love him y’all aren’t exactly wrong

 

 **i can be ur glow stick man:** FUCKINGB OF FEN DED

 

 **nini bear:** U LITERALLY JUMPED HEAD FIRTS OUT PF A TWO FTORY VUIDLIGB U FUCK

 

 **ri-bbit:** i stand with jiyong ig theres a thin line between absolute fuckib moron and insane genius with a questionably adequate deathwish ? ? ?

  
**daddy:** go the fuck to sleep gyus it s 4 in the goDFUCKING DAMNED M O R N IN G

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyy angsty
> 
>  
> 
> lov me  
> im a mess  
> baeks also a mess  
> we're al messes


	5. why the fuck not, jiyong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i can be ur glow stick man: join us
> 
>  
> 
> TabiDABi: whAT AM I GONNA TELL THE PROFESSOR
> 
>  
> 
> TabiDABi: ‘oh i didnt finish this paper because one of my boyfriends was horny and i had to help him out’

**succ-hyung:** nani the fuck hapen d her e

 

**hoehyun:** i fucked up

 

**succ-hyung:** when do you not tho

 

**hoehyun:** correction of mistakes: i fucked up like BAD like worse than i usually do ok

 

**succ-hyung:** do u need a ghug 

 

**hoehyun:** i want a hug i deserve a really hard slap 

 

**succ-hyung:** whta did u do

 

**hoehyun:** drank myself to stage 600 liver cancer got nini to pick me up got nini STRESSED as FUCK and then he CRIED WHILE LU WAS TRYING TO GET ME TO IDK SHUT THE FUCK 

 

**hoehyun:** he cr ie d : (((((((((((( i feel like the wrost both physically nd mentally my head hurts

 

**succ-hyung:** how bout i slap u then hug u and then we go out for coffee when u feel better

 

**hoehyun:** plx ilysm

 

**succ-hyung:** lright wher are you also on me youre not spending ur money agaun in a logn time

 

**hoehyun:** i was at ninis for the night because yeah well u heard but i woke up at like 7 and felt so guilty i lowkey walk of shamed out of my own boyfriends apartment and now im like. walking in circles in town pm feel sorry for me

 

**succ-hyung:** just tell me where are you at this exact moment im not going to start chasing you around youre gonna cry in the middle f nowehre

 

**hoehyun:** id roast u but my mind isnt working so. library then

 

**succ-hyung:** alright, see u ythere

 

**sad mango:** i rly hope u guys work ur stuff out u seem like good ppl

 

**kinky:** agreed!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-|-

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** daesung….

 

**daddy daer:** what

 

**daddy daer:** FRICK FRACK oh goOOODnesss im connected to the speaker arent i

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** you watch porn

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** japanese porn

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** and you dont invite me

 

**TabiDABi:** this could have gone to the worse but now theyre fucking iM TRYING TO FINISH A PAPER I HAVE TO HAND IN TOD A Y 

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** dotn woryr dad dy wer geonna fisnih son

 

**ri-bbit:** sorry hyung but youre l o u d

 

**TabiDABi:** loud is an understatment pl e a s e s h u t u p t h i s i s i m p o r tnat jiyong p l eA SE

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** daddy

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** join us

 

**TabiDABi:** whAT AM I GONNA TELL THE PROFESSOR 

 

**TabiDABi:** ‘oh i didnt finish this paper because one of my boyfriends was horny and i had to help him out’

 

**ri-bbit:** just go u know he wotn sopt until u go

 

**TabiDABi:** fi n e but if i fail this you guys will help me next time

 

-|-

 

**abanodned:** what the fuck

 

**daddy:** same

 

**nini bear:** same

 

**bottom boye:** same

 

**duran duran:** same

 

**succdae:** same

 

**succ-hyung:** same

 

**soft bab:** same

 

**taem to stop:** same

 

**kinky:** same

 

**sad mango:** same

 

**bumkeyk:** same

 

**bonghyun:** same

 

**feelin’ gucci:** same

 

**yoda:** same

 

**naega michyeo:** same

 

**feelin’ gucci:** here it comes

 

**soft bab:** zitAO WHER WERE I MISSED YOU WHY HAVW YOU BEEN IGNORIGN ME PLS DONT DO THTA EVR AGAI N ILL PERSONALLY PULL YOUR FETHER S OUT ONE BY ONE YOU I DIOT YOU SCARE DME WHY DID YOU GO WHY WTSAN I ALLOEWD IN HOW DAR YU

 

**feelin’ gucci:** i w a s s t r e s s e d i m s o r r y

 

**soft bab:** YOU BITC H DONT DO THAT EVER AGAIN

**feelin’ gucci:** I M S O R R Y G E I W ONT DO THST AGIAN JKASJFLJAFKJAFJLJHASGLKAHSKFJHLKGHJHSAKLSFHALKHSFLASHFLKHAFLJASFRJAKGJHASFLHAFKJHAIUFGIOHIUGIHUGOU

 

**soft bab:** U BETTER I’LL FUCKING SKIN YOU ALIVE YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT DUAUSDPHSFJHSUDGHIUHKLDHKJVHUSDBGAGUIEFSD

 

**daddy:** yifan i understand that youre stressed but p l e a se   don t s we a r

 

**i can be ur glow stick man:** im not sure whrther i should be scared or amused

 

**feelin’ gucci:** b oth

 

**soft bab:** noW come here and cuddle me u fuck before i 

 

**feelin’ gucci:** before you?

 

**soft bab:** yknow

 

**feelin’ gucci:** d ont pls

 

**daddy:** you’ll what fanfan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i made exactly 46 depression jokes today what 'bout you
> 
> also im stressed so expect a l o t t a more shit to be posted because why spend 200 bucks again when you can push your mental problems into characters who actually are real people am i rite
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> thx


	6. the past tense of breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daddy young: you randomly disappear again for 4 entire days only for me to find
> 
>  
> 
> daddy young: that you disrespect the english language
> 
>  
> 
> daddy g: i take 4 days off for some self care and find out ur the new daddy
> 
>  
> 
> daddy g: you disrescep my entire life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kimmyeon- junmyeon  
> stan- kyungsoo  
> sehunoh- sehun  
> dddae- jongdae  
> zzzztao- zitao  
> minseokie- minseok  
> baby baek- baekhyun  
> jonginin- jongin
> 
> daddy g- jiyong  
> daddy young- youngbae  
> hi_no- seungri
> 
> minho/hohohome- minho  
> mini_mini_taemini/taeminimini- taemin  
> angel c: - jonghyun  
> jinkied- jinki

**minho:** is anyone online

 

**minho:** i know it’s literally 3 in the morning but i

 

**minho:** i can hear jinki crying in the next room and i can’t sleep like that

 

**daddy:** don’t tell me your relationship’s falling apart too

 

**minho:** i hoPE NOT!!!! I REALLY FUCKING HOPe not ohgmy dfuckng god

 

**daddy:** did any of u all fuck up?

 

**minho:** i don’t fucking know i 

 

**minho:** i think we tried to just. confront him about it but accidentally ended up interventioning jinki

 

**minho:** everyone is kinda sure that hes got ptsd because his family were. not the greatest. growing up. to say the least

 

**minho:** and we kind of booked a therapy session for him but he

 

**minho:** going to class by himself is kind of a chore for him so that was. a bit Dumb for us to Do

 

**minho:** and he broke down crying and he’s in the rooM NEXT TO MINE SOBBING BUT I CANMT DO AMTHING BECAUSE I MADE HIM CRY???? 

 

**minho:** u feel m e

 

**daddy:** yeah i feel you

 

-|-

 

**daddy young:** okay, i get it, everyones relationships are falling apart n all but like.  lets not let this chat die

 

**minho:** idk i feel like shit i dont think i can hold a civilised converstion

 

**daddy:** we arent going to be online for a while

 

**minho:** why?

 

**minho:** everything okay??

 

**daddy:** yifans in the hospitl

 

**daddy:** i think he had a seizure

 

**minho:** oh

 

**daddy young:** well, we’ll support you through that all yknow

 

**daddy young:** youve grown on me a bit

 

**taeminimini:** is he okay?

 

**daddy:** no,,,

 

**daddy:** sigh

 

**daddy:** sorry guys

 

**daddy:** baeks crying again

 

**daddy:** i gtg

  
  


\---

  
  


**daddy young:** does anyone know where jiyong is

 

**taeminimini:** sorry,,, no

 

**minho:** idk i think hes in the school studio or smt

 

**daddy young:** i’ll check, thank you guys

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


**jinkied:** how many of you are guardian angels and haven't fucking told us

 

**jinkied:** how do you even 

 

**jonginin:** im sorry?

 

**jinkied:** i fucking

 

**jinkied:** i

 

**jonginin:** chill,,,

 

**jinkied:** yeah that really fUcking helps!!!!! 

 

**jonginin:** were all going throug som shit

 

**hohohome:** jinki

 

**hohohome:** can you please try to calm down

 

**jinkied:** can YOU fucking stop interfering for One Whole SECOND??????? 

 

**dddae:** holy shit chill

 

**dddae:** soo n myeon are goig thrpugh some shit aswell dont artack them because youre salt yover your fucking relayionship problems

  
  
  


**_hohohome_ ** _ has entered a private chat:  _ **_jinkied_ **

 

**hohohome:** baby

 

**hohohome:** please don’t attack them right now

 

**jinkied:** don't you dare fuckinf call me baby oh mh fucking god

 

**jinkied:** and THAT’S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY ISN’T IT

 

**jinkied:** EVERYTHING KS SO FUCKIGN EASY!!!!! all of the TIME!!!!! 

 

**jinkied:** HAVE YOU EVEN CJOBSIDERED THAT HEYM AYBE SOME PEOPLE REALLY JUST CANT DO SHIT SOMETIMES! EVEN IF YOI DON'T UNDER FUCKING DTAND JT! 

 

**hohohome:** AT LEAST I’M FUCKING TRYING

 

**hohohome:** and so is taeminnie!!! and jjong!!! even fucking kibum out of all people is putting his all into this

 

**hohohome:** literally the ONLY PERSON NOT TRYING is you!!! what the fuck can we DO JINKI

 

**jinkied:** you don't have any fucjig right t tell me im not tryig

 

**jinkied:** you’re not in my fucking head

 

**jinkied:** you don’t know what it feels like to step out of the door and know that as soon as you move thers going tocbe so much touchinf and so many ha n d s and you canf do anyt hin g about it

 

**hohohome:** we just wanted to fucking help and of fucking course this happens

 

**hohohome:** god i should’ve seen this coming

 

**jinkied:** don’t fucking talk to me anymore

 

**hohohome:** wait

 

**_jinkied_ ** _ has left this private chat:  _ **_hohohome_ **

 

**_jinkied_** _has blocked user:_ **_hohohome, mini_mini_taemini, angel c:, bumkeyk_**

 

\---

 

**mini_mini_taemini:** why did jinki block me,,,,?

 

**_jinkied_ ** _ has left group chat:  _ **_who doesnt love jonghyun_ **

 

**sing_sang_sung:** holy fuck 

 

**hohohome:** i fucked up! 

 

**angel c: :** whTA did u do

 

**hohohome:** can you come over i don’t want to explain it here

 

**angel c: :** im takiong taemini an everyone else too

 

\---

 

**stan:** update, this chat is dead n shit, yifan will most likely die in a year, the perfect relationship has apparently fallen apart, myeon will most likely end up head first in the han river and all of us are somehow fucking up infinitely bad

 

**stan:** what’s gucci

 

**baby baek:** i haven’t left my bed in 4 days and i have dried out my eyes, going blind most likely

 

**stan:** TT

 

**minseokie:** im with baek and keeping him hydrated (read: forcing water down his throat nd trying to get him to stop crying)

 

**stan:** :c

 

**minseokie:** you can join, i don't mind

 

**stan:** thank you

  
  


\---

  
  


**_kingy_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_sehunoh_ **

 

**sehunoh:** htis si fun

 

**sehunoh:** thre aer som any ligths

 

**kimmyeon:** are you,,, drunk?

 

**sehunoh:** i fukcign love lgife

 

**kimmyeon:** holy shit you are

 

**sehunoh:** nooOOOOooOOOoooOO

 

**sehunoh:** just wana vidit taozi

 

**kimmyeon:** sehun

 

**sehunoh:** i missmhim so mch

 

**kimmyeon:** sehun where are you

 

**sehunoh:** i dpnt care

 

**sehunoh:** i wan taozi

 

**kimmyeon:** sehun

 

**sehunoh:** leeteuk hyung is ehre

 

**kimmyeon:** already coming baby

  
  


\---

 

**zzzztao:** uh

 

**zzzztao:** if it helps then im in guangzhou rnow

 

**zzzztao:** family things

 

\---

 

**daddy g:** the past tense of breathe is brothe

 

**daddy young:** you randomly disappear again for 4 entire days only for me to find 

 

**daddy young:** that you disrespect the english language

 

**daddy g:** i take 4 days off for some self care and find out ur the new daddy

 

**daddy g:** you disrescep my entire life

 

**hi_no:** jiyong oh my god

 

**hi_no:** i was so fucking worried oh my g

 

**hi_no:** WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP WHY WOULD MYEON DIE WHAT THE FUCK

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi
> 
> yes i disappeared for like a month ;;
> 
> life's been treating me like absolute shit and i had a mental breakdown which is kinda,,, not okay  
> but like, have a short chapter because haha, yes, when have i been good at posting quality shit often,,,
> 
> i also have a new twitter now so u can come and shout @ me for only writing angst and not updating for the life of me :,)  
> @waejima


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sharkassstick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pd_zhang: yixing  
> zzzztao: zitao  
> lun: luhan  
> kimmyeon: junmyeon  
> dddae: jongdae  
> baby baek: baekhyun  
> loey_: chanyeol  
> jonginin: jongin  
> stan: kyungsoo
> 
> jijibe: jiyong  
> baebae: youngbae  
> snootsnoot: seunghyun/top  
> VerI_funny: seungri

 

**pd_zhang:** what

 

**pd_zhang:** oh my god

 

**pd_zhang:** okay now i regret moving away

 

**pd_zhang:** oh fuck

 

**pd_zhang:** i

 

**loey_:** xingxing

 

**pd_zhang:** im catching a flight back i need you guys

 

**pd_zhang:** im so

 

**pd_zhang:** i miss you

 

**zzzztao:** back at chu

 

**zzzztao:** my family cant stop me from supporting my boyfriends

 

**lun:** me too oh my ogd i feel so fucking bad for going

 

**lun:** i miss you guys so fucking much you wouldn’t believe

 

**kimmyeon:** im crying again

 

**kimmyeon:** in the name of everything ive done

 

**kimmyeon:** i love you guys so fucking much

 

**dddae:** i love you too myeon!

 

**baby baek:** me two

 

**loey_:** me three

 

**lun:** me four

 

**jonginin:** me five

 

**kimmyeon:** fanfan said he loves you

 

**jonginin:** myeon

 

**jonginin:** remember when you told you’d take us anywhere

 

**kimmyeon:** yea

 

**jonginin:** if

 

**jonginin:** if fanfan gets out of the hospital

 

**jonginin:** can we maybe go somewhere

 

 

**jonginin:** just anywhere warm and nice and

 

**kimmyeon:** yeah

 

**kimmyeon:** yeah we can

 

\---

 

**jijibe:** whats long and has cum in it

 

**baebae:** cucumber

 

**jijibe:** document

 

**snootsnoot:** what the fuck

 

**VerI_funny:** do you mean that 10 000 word document containing all of your bdsm scene ideas

 

**jijibe:** how did you get in my account you bitch

 

**VerI_funny:** ……..

 

**jijibe:** okay yeah fuck u too

 

**jijibe:** you are mom gay

 

**VerI_funny:** yes i am the mother gay

 

**kimmyeon:** haha yes

 

**jonginin:** junmyeon

 

**jonginin:** is being

 

**jonginin:** s a r c a s t i c

 

**kimmyeon:** sarcasstic

 

**dddae:** personally offended

 

**stan:** sharkassstick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constant uploading of quality content? never heard of her

**Author's Note:**

> thx it took me a millenia to edit :D


End file.
